I find it fucking incredible that just five years ago I was "pouring my heart out" over at easy journal to what seemed a massive audience of two hundred. Amazingly, the posts will contain the same content and diction. Hold onto your hats folks, you'll need to give them to me to hide my prematurely receding hairline.

About (24 + 3) hours ago I made the turn from charmingly dejected tortured teenaged angsty mo-fo to depressing adult. My grandmother was staying with for what was supposed to be two weeks three months ago and just left today. In my (juvenile selfishness?) I felt that she was an intruder. It reached a climax last night [read: anti-climax] during my birthday dinner. Of spaghetti.

But first: a prelude:

School let out, I got drunk. I went to work. Suppressed a billion vile thoughts from leaping off of my tongue when my boss went on being the condescending fuck bag that he is around me. Not that I've ever done much to keep him from being a condescending fuck bag [not crying in front of him, showing even the slightest glimmer of surface activity in the noggin, taking initiative or being a worthwhile employee].

Anyways, my summer started with a nine day stint at work, which of course, seemed like the most inhumane treatment of a labourer in the course of human history. That was supposed to be the low point of my summer, which I suppose in a way was almost invited. Being that I always want people to take the initiative and talk to me, treat me nicely, or show respect. All fits into that messiah we want, I guess. A black cloud over my non-existent romace/sex life. During a CD change a MSN window popped up and pretty much made my life. (Convo start: 7:36)

(Extended pause in convo that I'll take for the end of it 752, resumed at 752)

Nine day stint at work and bitching to unresponsive coworkers probably means that it's not that big of a deal. I'll have to put, "taking note of other's reactions to my problems" in the play book. And I honestly did bitch about it for the whole of the summer. Everytime I thought Ross was in the back filling the chlorinator I made sure to bitch extra loud about it. Ah well, lessons learned. Ross and the Gammies will always be above Matt and the McColemans. Should probably try to follow his lead a little more. Which I would totally do, had I not put in my eight weeks notice because of the nine days.

Grandparents came. Didn't leave.

This has served it's cathartic purposes for the evening.